Member-only story
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
Writing Long Works of Fiction
That blow minds across the universe!
Some people say that fiction writers are at the pinnacle of all creative geniuses. I say that we are just really good liars.
When writing fiction, it is important to be a little over the top. Nobody wants to read fiction from Mark in the HR department. No offense Mark. I liked your writing.
No Mark! I will never read it again.
Anyways…
It seems apparent to me that the right amount of crazy is included in the recipe for success as a fiction writer. I recently reached out to an old friend of my literal glory days to tell him I was writing a book. I mentioned that I had expected to see him on some sort of list over the years. Not just a best-selling authors list. I was checking others too…
He did mention that he has continued the diet of strong alcohol that we preferred when he was in college. This is a normal staple in the literary world. He is a full-time book editor now. I am not surprised.
I am just slightly too crazy to drink every day. Slowing the signals of inhibition from my flawed mind is dangerous. When you are driving a Vincent Black Shadow without a helmet, it is best if you can steer.
Back to Writing
So yes… to be a good fiction writer, you must be slightly crazy. Not crazy enough to cut off your ear. That would make you a painter. You will need to ingest a fair amount of lead(and alcohol) for that kind of talent.
I feel the need to say that ingesting poisons is bad now. Bilaterally, if you are that stupid, it is probably too late. I am happy to see you reading though. GO! Get a treat.
Another skill that is helpful… would be the ability to talk about absolutely nothing in a mildly entertaining way for long enough that the reader doesn’t want to hang themselves from the dangling parts of a lower case “g”. But that is just my opinion. I fear that I risk stretching my thoughts on this a little too much. I might tie some more words around the topic later.
